A boy and a girl run around on the grass at the park. The boy tackles the girl. The girl laughs. She gets up and runs away. She loves to run. He chases, she turns and they grab each other, tumble and land in a pile, giggling. After a few minutes, he tackles her again and she lands a bit hard. She is bigger and physical, but he more than holds his own in roughhousing. She pauses for a second. Then she laughs again; she’s still having fun.

Dad gets his attention, and says, “If she’s not having fun, you have to stop.”

He is two. He needs to hear this now, and so does she. And again, and again, and again, so that like wearing a helmet on the bike it is ingrained.

Yes Means Yes blog: “visions of female sexual power & a world without rape”

Parents, siblings, carers, cousins, teachers, tutors, mentors, aunts, uncles, etc, of young children: we have a chance to mold the gender relations of the future.

(via genderqueer)

Such great advice. 

I’ve done this with my kids since the moment they could each sign “more” and “all done” around 8 months old.  More tickles?  Or all done?  More kisses?  Or all done?  More bouncing?  Or all done?

When they’re old enough to play with others, you teach them to constantly check in with each other.  Are you having fun?  Or do you want to be done?

Is the shrieking laughter or fear?  ASK.

Is the giggling from joy or nervousness?  ASK.

Do you like being smacked with pillows?  ASK.

Are you having fun wrestling?  ASK.

And keep asking.  What was fun five minutes ago might not be fun now.

Both kids know the moment something stops being fun, they need to stop.  And they know that their wishes about what is fun and what’s not will be respected by their parents and by each other.  They’ve known it since 8 months old.

This truly isn’t a difficult concept.  It’s easy to teach it by example and it’s incredibly simple for children to do.

Are you having fun?  Or do you want to stop?

Fucking teach it, parents.  Please.  ~JJ

(via jcatgrl)





A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

Yes, consent is nonsexual, too!

Not only that, but one of the reasons many child victims of sexual abuse don’t reach out is that they don’t have the understanding or words for what is happening to them, and why it isn’t okay. Teaching kids about consent helps them build better relationships and gives them the tools to seek help if they or a friend need our protection.

Things I learned from G

  • Lots of student talk
  • "I trust ____ because we’re honest.  We all agreed on the rules."
  • Students call on students
  • Table captains take roll on white boards — school or home lunch
  • Writing practice includes writing each other notes.
  • Tables of 8, long ways.
  • "Good wonderings"
  • Center with books on tape.
  • Hang signs on hook if going to bathroom
  • Songs for learning counting by X in math.

Things I learned from K #3

  • Don’t keep students in trouble.  If they clip down find some reason to clip them up as soon as possible. 
  • When students make a peace offering praise it or find some way to accept it.  “Whisper me the answer”, “you’re being a great leader”, etc.
  • Jumping jacks as energizers for counting by (6s, 7s, etc.)
  • To review the process: have student think of the first step and tell your neighbor,

Useful Phrases

  • Thank you for waiting
  • Have students ID the problem and have other students did on the problem question.
  • Ask students to repeat the words of each other
  • Touch the question
  • Now you’re amped up so we need to get our self control back with deep breaths.
  • Pause
  • The more self control you have the more privileges you have
  • Pencils up if you’re ready
  • Lightbulbs on
  • Knees, knees, eyes, eyes
  • Echo

New Vocab

  • You say ________, 3x.  For new vocab.
  • Emphasize vocab in praise: good job rounding
  • Say it to yourself